Beyond Bringing Up Boys

The first Sunday after Easter this spring, we decided to attend the services of a church just a couple of miles from our house. The congregation had outgrown 3 previous "sanctuaries," the first being a mobile home, and were worshiping in the gymnasium, while anticipating the completion of their new "house." We were met that sunny Sunday morning by a gracious greeter who offered the directions to the children’s services. We declined. After all, we had been trying to find a church home for almost a year, and after each visit, our boys would beg, "Can we make this our church home?" We were all so relationally hungry. That Sunday was different. Almost from the first moments, we sensed a difference… We had found a spiritual oasis we were searching for. Yesterday was the dedication service our new "House." It is a beautiful building that will house 800, and should allow us to meet in one service for awhile. The balcony is unfinished, but yesterday’s se...

7pm Platelets were transfused this afternoon once Don's fever went down. Just found out that the chest x-ray was clear but no other word about the other tests today but blood cultures take a minimum of 2 days... 10:30 AM Just last night when David spoke to his mom, we rejoiced as a family that Don’s platelets had held steady and for the first time in weeks, it was not necessary to have a platelet transfusion. That news, in combination with the doctor’s report yesterday morning that once his white count reached 1.0, he could be released, had us all giving thanks. This morning though, the news is not good. His platelets and white count has fallen. Perhaps the most alarming is that he is once again running a fever and fluid has accumulated in his bronchial tubes. A chest x-ray, among other test has been ordered. Charles and Lisa, who would normally leave immediately for the Quad Cities, have commitments this week in Des Moines and cannot leave without hurting their daughters, who are ...

Teaching the boys is a responsibility that I take seriously. And as we approach the halfway point of this school year, I have felt tense. Am I doing enough? How will I know for sure? This morning, the boys and I were discussing the Christmas story as Seth sat listening beside us. Zachary and Samuel were demonstrating how the angels might have exclaimed, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Not to be outdone, Seth said it perfectly . So tonight at dinner, with the principal (i.e. hubby) present, I reminded Seth to "tell daddy what the angels told the shepherds." His eyes twinkled mischievously as he responded, "HO.HO.HO" and jumped from his seat to parrot a perfect dancing Santa . Oh, yeah, I was proud!

A delicate caress along the bridge of a newborn nose, a gentle wipe across a face streaming with tears, a tender touch along a forehead raging with fever…the beauty of the human hand…the power of a touch. 2 months ago, Josiah Seth broke his femur. Many hands reached out to give comfort and aid to Seth (and to a distraught mommy). Visible hands. But the visible hands alone were limited. For physical healing to begin, Seth needed to be put into the care of unseen hands. He was taken to the operating room where a surgeon aligned the femur and, with the assistance of other doctors and staff, applied a cast to hold the properly aligned bone in place. With pain, I recall the uncertainty I felt as I stood, relinquishing to unseen hands my feeble attempts at comfort. In the weeks that have followed, I’ve thought a lot about unseen hands, specifically as they relate to the Christian journey. "Fear thou not for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, ...

Glenda with 2 of her 3 siblings taken at the Balty's 50th wedding Anniversary celebration in April 2007 The second daughter of a Kansas farming family, Glenda was born on November 30, 1933. Her mother was concerned that Glenda would be born before her daddy would get home from hunting. Glenda Rae Garton arrived safely and had her first bath (as did all her siblings) on the table at which I school my boys each day. Grandma Garton used to say that if that table could talk, it would say, “waah, waah, waah!” I thoroughly enjoyed perusing through her childhood pictures while I was in Illinois this summer. She had fair skin and big, blue eyes and a smile framed by dimples. She appeared to be always smiling in the pictures, seemingly unaware of how poor her family was. A wonderful tribute to her parents, I think, and maybe in part because living on a farm provided an ample supply of healthy foods. I watched her come alive with excitement and exuberantly tell about her school days at Milto...

Yesterday following our Thanksgiving feast, we loaded up and headed to one of our favorite places: Stone Mountain Park. We were riding the open-air passenger train; Seth was boogying on my lap to Here Comes Santa Claus , my 8-year-old slipped his hand into mine and snuggled close for warmth and my husband leaned forward from the seat behind and put his arms around my shoulders. I closed my eyes and, while the wind bit my nose and cheeks, I allowed their love to envelop me. It felt good to close my eyes…and for a moment put aside the concern for David’s family. Thanksgiving, 2007, we shed a lot of tears. Glenda has just received news of her ovarian cancer and her surgery and treatment loomed large in our minds. She had surgery in December, chemotherapy in January and just weeks later, Don was diagnosed with MDS, a blood disorder with a one-way route to leukemia, although for some this condition can last for years. Not so for Don, whose blood results we tracked like hounds, watching his ...

I've never been a thrill seeker kind of gal so I can't speak from personal experience. But I have seen pictures where the brave-hearted choose to ride horseback on a narrow, jagged and pebble-strewn path while just over the edge is a precipice that could mean certain death. And to their other side is a craggy, rock wall. That is the best visual picture that I can conjure up of my father-in-law’s health at this moment. He has been running a moderate to low-grade fever off and on over the last couple of days but most alarming—his platelets are 5000. For those of you who don’t know the normal reference for platelets; it is 150,000-300,000. Platelets are the part of the red blood cell that is responsible for the clotting of blood so a platelet count of 5K puts him at risk for spontaneous internal bleeding. His white cell count this morning was 300 (normal would be 3500-10,000). These are the expected results from the assault that chemo has placed on his body. So, he is "on...

Where there is life there is hope. I was a young girl when I first heard this comment, offered to my mom, as solace for my mother’s grief over my grandmother’s impending death. Never have those words meant so much. With each garment I have unpacked –intended to be worn at a funeral—I have given thanks. I am cautiously optimistic about Don’s physical condition. Prematurely, you might warn, and you would be right, because the life of a patient with recurrent leukemia is precarious. Leukemia patients, the doctor warned me when I said that we were planning to come home, die in one of two ways: infection or bleeding. Don’s infection (other than what he acquired in the hospital due in part to the high powered antibiotics that he receives and in part to an insufficient immune system) is under control. And his risk of spontaneous internal bleeding is being control by a transfusion of platelets almost every other day. So at this moment his health remains perilously contingent on blood transfusi...

Just a quick not to let you know that after consideration and speaking with the nurse at the doctor's office this morning, we have decided to leave for IL. We hope to drive straight through but since his condition is low but stable, there is no immediate rush.

Update, Evening May 6 Don was extremely fatigued tonight when David spoke to him. His appetite is poor. The doctor this afternoon is uncertain as to the cause of the fevers, really just speculated at this point. It is my understanding that his doctor told him this morning that with no further intervention (chemo) he could expect to live only 2 weeks. However, his health is so precarious that even more chemo could cause his condition to decline quickly and cause death as a complication...He did decide to accept more chemo. His pic line should be inserted tomorrow and hopefully, the chemo will begin too. David's sister, Lisa, is with them, and is a great source of strength. Our hearts are there but we long to be there in body too. It is our desire to see him again while he is still lucid, but David's obligations prevent us from leaving just yet. David is rapidly putting lesson plans together for the next two weeks, so we will be free to leave. The school is extremely supportive -...

I didn't watch all of the election results come in last night but I still couldn't sleep and barely choked down some breakfast this morning...I want to go back to bed. I want to cover my head and hide...cower...might be a better word. I want to stop wondering how people who call themselves Christians can vote in a such a Godless way. I don't want to think anymore about how the Bible says implicitly that we cannot serve God and money, and yet it appears that as an American nation, we have chosen money...or the promise of it. I want my own attitude and actions to be gracious and reflect the love of Christ but I'm fearful and struggling. I have found some comfort in the words of Beth Moore, written yesterday prior to the election on Living Proof : *We live in a democracy where we have the right to a vote and a voice. We have the God-given responsibility to use both wisely and in the way that best reflects what God conveys through Scripture. *God "works out everythin...

Technically, I know that I'll still be out-numbered in my testosterone-filled abode but my 16 year-old neice, Hannah, and her best friend are flying to Atlanta to spend a few days with us this week! Hannah and I have never lived close and so I am really looking forward to the opportunity to get to know her better. Of course, the fact, that I have no daughters makes this sweeter...we can shop, have manicures, watch chick flicks... My brother told me that when the first part of next week comes, I'll be SO glad I have all boys (that was encouraging). As I told him I hope it goes so well, that when she leaves, I'll be sorry she doesn't belong to me...

That’s the number of students that David has taught in his teaching career to date. Quite a number for someone whose Grandma said, "You’re just like my cousin. Everybody liked him but he didn’t amount to much." Maybe this was just an off-the-cuff response to another witty comment given by David. No one can know for certain. But, in reality if David taught only English to his students–that wouldn’t be much. Not in the perspective of eternity. He keeps in regular contact with many of his students who have gone on to finish college, graduate school, and begin impressive careers. But his passion for teaching comes from letters like this, written to me: "I was one of your husbands' students at Whitefield (I graduated in 2005). I wanted you to know that I count your husband's influence on my life as one of the biggest blessings. I don't know if he ever really knew what a mess my home life was. Your husband always encouraged me, but more than that he was a constant...

It’s been no secret that moving to Georgia was tough for me. I lamented that I missed my friends and the familiarity that comes from living in one place for ten years. I still do. So when my friend of 23 years, started talking about moving from Denver to Greenville, South Carolina— a mere 2 hours and 51 minutes from me —I could barely contain my excitement. But I did. Until today. Apparently. My oldest son, listening in on a conversation, said, "Mom, you sound awfully giddy for someone who’s trying to help her friend through a difficult move." Oops.

When Zachary’s slender hand grasps yours You lay aside your evening chores, Embarking out upon a pillowed sea. The books reclining on your knees (Yours motherhood; his history), Two spirits blend, his head leans on your arm. He doesn’t have to say, “I love you, Mom.” Seth’s plaintive cry splits pre-dawn’s calm Needing, it seems, your loving balm. His message, to the point: “Take me to Mom.” Setting the steaming mug aside You let him burrow deep, and hide, Enveloped in the solace of your warmth. He doesn’t have to say, “I love you, Mom.” Sam, snuggled in the upper bunk The drink of sleep not fully drunk Has no idea you’re already up. The mixing bowl, the flour and spice He’ll see, and lisp, “O Paradithe” And wrap two sturdy arms around your waist. He doesn’t have to say, “I love you, Mom.” Your husband rises every day And views – miraculous display – How shirts, once hampered, now hangers adorn. Somehow his bride has taught the boys, Delivered meals and picked up toys Each task accomp...

Zachary’s thoughts kept drifting off toward the lake this morning during math. I knew he was excited about the middle school boy’s fishing trip this afternoon. Shortly after eleven, he ran to the garage to get his gear and I packed a lunch for him. He wanted me to pack the other boys a lunch too and come back to the lake in time to eat with everyone afterwards. I packed the other lunches but was dubious as to whether I would lunch at the lake; I had a headache that had lasted all night and was mounting in intensity again. As I pulled into the state park just about 5 minutes before noon, I was surprised to see that there were no other parents. I drove to the other side—unsure of exactly where we were to meet—no one was there. Zachary was visibly disappointed and so I, in a moment of weakness, suggested that we just stay and fish. I called David to tell him what I was going to do. “I am so proud of you,” he gushed, knowing full well what I was in for… Because a permit was required an...

October 4th had been reserved on our calendar for several weeks; we were planning to meet our Sunday School class at Stone Mountain Park in the evening for the Laser Show. But since we have annual passes--that we really love--we decided to go up earlier in the day to see the Fall Festivities. Some of our favorites are riding the cable car to the top and down, riding the train, and the 4D theater. There is so much to do, that we try to fit in something different each time we go. And for me, this time instead of buying fudge, I just longed for some! I'm not sure I'll ever do that again! Some fudge and a Pumpkin Spice Latte would have made me so happy. But it wouldn't have lasted long anyway... Having always had a flu shot for the last 8 years (when mommas's not happy, nobody...), I got my annual shot on Friday afternoon, and gave it no thought. By Saturday night during the laser show with Seth, sitting restlessly on my lap, I noticed that my arm was really sore. The...

If you’ve been to the gym to work out, you know that someone very fit in clothes very conforming to their body, will give you a free analysis. They may measure you, weigh you, tell you what percentage of weight that is fat and then tell you how much YOU should lose, then proceed to kill you by “teaching” you how to use the machines and/or free weights. When Joyce told me that according to her measurements and my height I should weigh 95 pounds, I just about croaked. I was only 98 pounds when I got married at age 22 and I have since had three kids. I wanted to grab that little clip board from her and see if there were hidden deductions…kind of like taxes where you "get" more when you have more kids. That was several years ago, while we were still in KY, and despite that fact that I worked out faithfully, my weight seemed pretty stable at 108. But over the last couple of years, I have watched the scales changing. First 110, 112, and before we left for the summer vacation, I wei...

I still have construction dust on my knees, palms and under my fingernails. Several weeks ago, our pastor began announcing that everyone should bring his or her favorite scripture verse written down on a slip of paper for this evening’s service. He intentionally gave no indication why we should do this. Our family was ready. I think Samuel’s first pick was from Exodus but David talked him into something, let’s just say, a bit more practical. Toward the close of the service, our pastor gave the instruction that as a congregation we should leave the gymnasium where we are currently worshipping and move into the new auditorium—just across the parking lot. There we would find permanent markers and that we should write our favorite verses on the concrete floor of our new sanctuary. We moved as a group of 200+ into the new building. Group by group we knelt, young and old, singles and married, and wrote our verses onto the floor. I was moved to such scriptures: 1 Corinthians 15:55 O dea...

Homeschool on Thursday was just as I dreamed homeschooling would be! Well, not exactly . I would have envisioned my house being immaculate, the laundry and ironing caught up, the dishwasher purring with dishes used from the warm and nutritious lunch I had just prepared... But none of these was true. I kept looking longingly at the clock. It was a spectacular day; the skies were steel blue and a light breeze blew through our open windows. We still had history and reading to do...and it was only just about lunch time. I knew the boys were antsy too. I could sense it. There was an audible sigh of relief when I declared that we were breaking for lunch. I cooked some of those really nutritious pizza rolls--you know the kind with no preservatives--and for good measure, I threw some carrots sticks on the plate too, so I would still be eligible for the Mother-of-the-Year award. While they ate, I gathered our afternoon assignments and some blankets. As soon as they were finished, I broke th...

Seth has a highly distinctive sense of smell but seems to be only sensitive when it comes to the odors--or perceived odors--of others. Just today, he came to me, laughing so hard he couldn't walk straight because his feet stunk from wearing his leather shoes without socks! I digress even further to preface this story. David has wonderful oral hygiene. He flosses and brushes his teeth at least twice a day. He gets his bi-annual cleanings...you get the picture. So when Seth was getting antsy in church and David asked him to look at his face, David assumed he was being disobedient when Seth turning his face away replied," Please talk into my ear, daddy." David insisted and Seth complied but only after using his New Testament as a shield between his nose and David's mouth. It only made sense the next day when David lifted Seth into his car seat, fastened him, and kissed him on the cheek and Seth said, "Daddy, I don't like your mouth so much, but that...

Thanks for all your prayers. I had the CT scan and the kidney stone was "hiding." I'm convinced that it is not gone because I did not feel as though I had given birth anytime recently...and from I experienced the last time around... So we will wait. No other choice. And you who know me, you know I LOVE to wait! Or maybe not. I'm serious about your prayers, emails, phone calls and comments. They are encouraging and I appreciate all of them SO much! *No, the title is not a typo...I love hymns and one of my favorites is Hiding in Thee but since I found out this stone is hiding in me...I know, I really need to get more! :-)

When I began seeking the advice of "veteran" home schooling moms, two words kept being repeated. "Be flexible." Sounds so easy. But naturally, flexibility and I do not go hand-in-hand. I love schedules. I like to make schedules. I like to cross out things that have been accomplished---you get the idea. So, my Friday "schedule" goes something like this. Get up by 5:30 and make and eat breakfast with David. Shower, get dressed, put on make-up (thank goodness for that, it hides a multitude of imperfections). If the boys are not up by 7Am, wake them, they make their beds, shower, and then they have breakfast. Then we do piano before I take Zachary to His Masters Voice (HMV), a 70 voice concert choir that consists of other home-schooled children grades 6-12. While Zach is at HMV I run to Kroger to pick up any sale items. Then I come home fix lunch and do the rest of my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart after lunch. Are you tired yet? Maybe bored, I don...

It was 6:50 this morning when I heard the distinctive footsteps of my middle son ambling down the hallway. Distinctive steps—kind of like a duck without the quacking—thank goodness-- because he is flat-footed; A trait, he says he likes because his “feet stick to the floor!” I was seated at my desk/dining room table reviewing the day's lessons. “Mom,” his eyes lit up, “Can we start school now? I could be done by noon.” Not wanting to quench a desire to learn—no matter the motive—I agreed. He quickly clutched his pencil box in one hand and grabbed his journal in the other and sat down to begin his “Do Now.” I sat beside him still looking over lessons—Math to be exact—when a sound escaped that I thought best to ignore but I looked to him, hoping to at least hear an “excuse me, please.” Instead he smiled sheepishly, and said with his lisp, “Oopths, that alwayths happenths thith time of the morning.” “Good to know,” I replied, again looking at the Math lesson. It was quiet a fe...

I miss blogging, but to say that I am busy is an understatement! My day begins about 5:15-5:30 when I crawl to the kitchen to make breakfast for David. I am not being a martyr here; I actually enjoy the quiet solitude of being alone with him. And IF he can stand to look at me that early... He prefers to be at school at 6:00. (This I most certainly didn't understand until now!) So I have from about 6:00-7:00 for personal time, showering and dressing (I refuse to "teach" in my pj’s) devotions and talking to my mom on the phone. From that point on, the boys get up, get dressed, make beds, (run on Tuesday and Thursday), have breakfast, and begin their "Do Now" assignment. "Do now" was my husband's brilliant idea that he shared from his classroom. We use it at home for journaling. Some days I have topics for them to write about, and other days, they can write about whatever they prefer. This is fantastic because it gives me 15 minutes to either p...

still alive. I have my head buried in books...just to be sure that I am actually smarter than a 5th 6th grader. (No comments in this regard please!) Anyway, just thought I'd poke my head out of one of them and say hi. Sunday night I was feeling very overwhelmed and under-prepared for the responsibilities of this year. There were so many reasons NOT to homeschool this year not the least of which is that my health has a history of being tenuous and the boys have a great Christian school to attend. But over the summer David and I became convinced (separately) that this was God's plan for our family for this season. I am scared. Petrified, actually. But when I filtered out all of the things that really frighten me about taking on a challenge such as this, I realize that what scares me the most are the things that I cannot control (i.e. health). It would be easy for me to focus on how inadequate I am. But just recently I was reminded of the Widow's Mite from Luke's ...

We arrived safely in the Quad Cities and it became exceedingly difficult to pull away. For the first summer in David's career, he had the flexibility in his schedule to allow us to stay and though there were some very emotional times, as we all began to learn of Don's prognosis, we had some wonderful days too. One of those times was July 4th. David's sister and her family came from Des Moines and stayed close to a week or more. Our children are relatively close in age and get along well --and considering each of us has 1 spitfire (who will remain unnamed :-) --that's amazing! We tried to do as many fun things as we could when David's dad felt well: a trip to Galena, IL, ate at Famous Dave's Barbeque, a day at Niabi Zoo. But the boys had the most fun on a boat in the Mississippi River. Dan Dodd (a member from the Bible Missonary Church where David's parents attend) invited David and the boys out on his boat. Oh excited they were! Poor Dan! A few things th...

Okay, where were we? Heading home, I guess...to David's parents, anyway. Grandpa had one more destination up his sleeve though--The Great Platte River Road Archway. It was a great finale to our trip. The Archway is an interactive adventure that pays tribute to the pioneers who passed through Nebraska on their way West. Wearing headsets, we listened in on "conversations" and watched the exhilaration and heartbreak of the journey. It was really neat. And I think seeing it at the end of our trip, it all made more sense to the boys because they had seen some of the places that the exhibits displayed. Even Seth had his favorite parts of the arch: a window at the top of the arch where you could watch the cars speeding by on I-80 and the escalator! (Grandma pointing out something to Samuel on a map--Samuel LOVES maps!) (just 2 of the many exhibits) We arrived safely in the Quad Cities on Thursday, July 26. We planned to leave the next day after Don's bone marrow biopsy. ...

Samuel woke up early this morning...and started the countdown to the minute of his birth...8 years ago. Then he proclaimed, "And NOW I am eight!"

I'll get back to our trip details, for those of you who have been so patient, but for tonight I'd like to digress. As I mentioned in a previous post, I accompanied David's dad (along with his mom) to the hospital in Scottsbluff, NE for a blood transfusion. For any of you who may not know, this procedure takes hours. In fact, that day I think we were at the hosptial about 12 hours. When we got back to the Quad Cities, we spent many more hours together in the hospital. It was such an honor to be there and serve them by offering what limited medical knowledge I have and/or just sitting nearby so Glenda could attend to other needs. Samuel's 8th birthday is tomorrow and I can't help but remember how David's dad sat by my bed for hours after the birth of my boys. I don't recall that he said much. I would awaken to see him with his new grandson in his arms or just sitting quietly nearby. So when he apologized that his health needs were taking "my" t...

14 years ago, David and I were in the process of moving from Florida (where David had taught 8th grade for 1 year at Hobe Sound) to Indiana, Pennsylvania for David to begin grad school. Leaving our belongings in Pennsylvania (we were still unsure of where we would be living) we drove to Illinois to see David's parents. Over lunch, the conversation led to places like the Black Hills and Rocky Mountains. When David's dad discovered that I had never been there, he was determined that we should go--the next day. 14 years and 3 boys later, here we were in the same places (sans the Rocky Mountains) we had visited then. With age comes perspective, I guess, but the awareness and uncertain future of Don's health, gave to us a sense of clinging to each present moment and yet, in the midst of that, looking back into time. And I'm not sure any of us were ready to return. Because to return was to re-enter reality and another bone marrow biopsy for Don. In spite, our trip back w...

It was just about 4 hours, as I remember from Aunt Bev's to Keystone, South Dakota. Don had given me a column that he actually asked me to read aloud -- Dave Barry: "A journey into my colon -- and yours." Read it here , if you wish, but not aloud and definitely not in front of your in-laws. We all laughed until we cried, I think. Then we stopped at a Pizza Hut where a WHOLE pitcher of ice cold water was accidently poured on one end of the table. Not much laughing at all. Except from those of us who didn't get wet and I was one of those. It was after dark when we stopped in Oelrichs, SD, to see a church where Grandpa and Grandma Balty pastored when Don was still at home. I had found our hotel online and was a bit apprehensive about the accomodations. I was not disappointed, the rooms were more than comfortable and the side view of Mt Rushmore from our rooms was beautiful. Breakfast in the mornings was served in the lodge and everything from bagels and toast to f...

Fortunately our van trouble delayed our trip very little. We had stopped again in Alma, NE for a restroom break when David noticed that the battery display light was on. His dad knew immediately that it was the alternator. There was a garage next to the gas station that confirmed his suspicions. We drove about 1/2 mile to a brand new motel that had accomodations so we unloaded the van. Since our van would not start again, the desk clerk offered to let us use her car to drive to a local diner, named "Buzbees." We had a decent meal and only felt out of place because we were not in overalls! The garage offered to come tow the van to the garage in the morning and the alternator was replaced and we were back on the road no later than mid-morning. Our distance goal of the day was to reach Scottsbluff, NE, where the Balty's lived for many years. Not only were we looking forward to going to Scottsbluff National Monument and visiting places of family interest, we were also ...